Big, red, malevolent eyes which look down on our pathetic and yet repeated attempts to scale peaks, the paths to which seem to grind in a direction opposite where you set your bicycle and efforts to. And all I’m doing now is hill-ride simulation – haven’t even got to the real thing yet.

There was a post recently asking if the collective noun for those of us attempting TfN (http://tourofnilgiris.com) is TfNers. Maybe it is. But what it should be is TfNuts, really. In more than one sense.

And while we’re talking that sort of thing, you know what eases staying long hours on the saddle? Butt-cream.

Risque business, this.